i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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