How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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