Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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