My first STD was from a foam party
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
