About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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