You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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