She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We got so high we made milksteak
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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