matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
