well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
