Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I could fuck to npr.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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