I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
