The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
