Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
