Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
