hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
