i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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