You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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