Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
