Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
