I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
