i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
