How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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