That's intense
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
