yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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