i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
