Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
