I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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