I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So apparently I’m into choking now
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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