why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
