So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
