I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
