I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
