hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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