well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
