He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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