Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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