the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
