He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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