I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
