Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
