dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
