so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
whose parrot is this?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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