I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
