when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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