I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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