I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
