kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
