"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
