If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
