Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Randomize
