Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
